LONG COMMENT, WORTH READING(?):
This is where I had to go to get my new social security card. After I was already in line, I was reading their guidelines on acceptible identification, and they don’t accept birth certificates!. And that’s what I’d brought! SHIT! [I lost my wallet twice that year, goddamnit! But this was the first time…] I can’t deal with this! I have no identity!
I had already been to the D.M.V., who wouldn’t give me a license without a social security card, and now I was at the social security administration, learning that my birth certificate was totally fucking useless so I wouldn’t be able to get the social security card I needed to get my license! fuck!
(I paid $55 to the commonwealth Virginia to send an official "certificate of live birth", and I that was not accepted by social security office! WTF, Virginia! You should tell me the shit I’m buying from you is useless!!)
So anyway, there I am standing in line, and in my folder of stuff, I notice a UPS envelope. I open it up, expecting my certificate of live birth that I just found out was useless…and…. wtf… there’s my damn passport, which I had ordered 4-6 weeks earlier (non-expedited)!
By some bizarre twist of fate, I had accidentally included what I thought was the envelope to my certificate of live birth, but was really the envelope to my passport. The two had come in the same envelope. I had not realized that I had my passport. I HAD NO CLUE I was walking around with it. This turns out to be what I need to re-establish my identity.
So in one visit to this building, I went in thinking that I had what I needed, progressed to realizing that I don’t have what I need, then finally discovered that Hey, I DO have what I need, but it wasn’t what I thought I had when I came in here! WTF?!
It was the best moment of bureaucratic serendipity that I’ve ever had…. If you can really call it that.
Two weeks later, I lost my wallet again. Three months later, that wallet was found. Of course the $60 wallet gets found; the $500 wallet doesn’t get returned. Bastards.
Not to sound racist, which is not my intent… but I sort of blame the Hispanic groundskeepers at the hospital on Carlin Springs Rd (the one my grandfather died in). They were the ONLY ones around, and it was an empty parking lot. It was not the primary lot for parking. It was the lot where some duct-tape carrying dude (me) stops for a second to duct tape his smashed fender back to his car.
I came back an hour later, and there were no cars in this parking lot. They were the ONLY ones that could have noticed a 4-inch wallet in an empty parking lot.
I wish I didn’t have to cancel my credit cards, cause I would have liked to track those bastards down and hit them with my mini-baseball bats that I carry. Which are collectors items! I got them at yard sales!
Posted by Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL) on 2006-08-11 18:08:27
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Tagged: , social security , Social Security Administration building , Virginia , Alexandria , Edsall Rd. , driving , beareucratic , serendepity , beareucratic serendepity , government , social security building , building
