From The Confessional: We Really, REALLY Don’t Miss Kids’ Birthday Parties

Posted On Sep 1, 2020 By admin With Comments Off

There are tons of things we miss about pre-pandemic life, back when normalcy was a thing. But as with most shitty situations, there is one teeny tiny silver lining, and it’s this: no more children’ birthday defendants. At least not the style we had to deal with before COVID.

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“Birthday parties are overrated”

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“I hate it when my friends with kids invites me to their boys birthday gatherings. I feel like I got to go or I’m a ghastly friend. Severely, who on gods enormous earth Lacks to go to a kids birthday party……”

You are aware of the ones: they’re crowded, they’re strident, they’re to participate in a dirty-carpeted venue that smells like old pizza and parental angst.

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“No more birthday gatherings at Chuck E. Cheese. Ever.”

Either that or so meticulously themed and over-the-top that you wonder if the parents had to take out a second mortgage.

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“I can’t believe how much money parents spend on their children birthday parties. I know a girl that consume around $2,000. ”

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“If you shed your teenager expensive birthday gatherings – or, even more severe, you shed show-off Pinteresty defendants – it’s pretty much guaranteed that I don’t looks just like you. It’s nothing personal. No, I lied, it’s absolutely personal.”

And, let’s face it … there’s more than one rationalization kids’ birthday defendants just plain suck.

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“I hate kid’s birthday defendants, even my own kid’s. Teenagers are fucking annoying.”

But for now, regardless, there’s no more getting three freaking birthday gathering biddings in a week. No more RSVP’ing. No more agonizing over whether you’re supposed to plummet your teenager off and burn rubber, or whether you’re supposed to stay and make awkward small talk.

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“I dread minors birthday gatherings … social nervousnes to the max.”

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“I hate birthday parties and anything that forces me to socialize with other mothers ”

No more spending a small fortune on talents that will be rent open and shoved aside in favour of the next. No goody baggages with slime that comes stuck in your carpet.

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“I hate the inexpensive nonsense boys get at birthday defendants in their indulgence pouch. Do me a FAVOR and don’t send this shit home. Such a squander of money.”

Just the sheer succor of knowing that nobody’s do any of that right now — and although they are, we have a legit excuse to take a rain check( for, like, the next year … and who knows, maybe longer ).

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“Planning birthday parties for my minors have always done nothing but precipitate suspicion – I’m use this pandemic to transition into never doing them – we’ll celebrate time fuck that pressure! ”

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“One of the one thing about being quarantined is that I don’t got to go to any girl birthday parties. No stress , no flaws , no cookouts or outdoor baby pools.”

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“Top of my schedule of things I don’t miss are the endless teenagers birthday parties. Cost of offerings, having to plan weekends around them, DCs getting upset if not invited, pressing to do the same when its my DCs b-day … Can we all agree to end the madness? ”

We no longer have to come up with an elaborate tale, or fudge the truth even a little bit.” Sorry we can’t come to the birthday party, but we’ll be, uh, spending the weekend backpacking through the mountains of Peru .”

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“I lie to get out of attending boys birthday defendants. Hate them !! ”

And can we all simply pause to appreciate the fact that “weve been”, genuinely affection having an excuse not to deal with the in-laws? I symbolize, we’re just looking out for their own health, amiright?* wink glint*

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“I certainly don’t demand MIL coming here for our son’s birthday in 2 weeks. The lockdown was the excellent “appropriate” reason to keep her away.”

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“It suctions that my son’s birthday will be affected by the lockdown. But I am not sorrowful that we won’t learn MIL.”

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“I avoid having birthday gatherings for my adolescents because I can’t stand my in-laws that I would have to invite.”

Of course, we can’t merely skip out on our own kids’ birthdays, but the aid we feel not having to plan states parties and carry them out is real AF.

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“DD9 birthday is this week. Since she can’t have a party I bought her do countless freakin offerings and idgaf. We’re saving a ton on childcare since quarantining so….”

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“There will be no teenagers’ birthday gatherings in my house. That shit is over the top and I haven’t the perseverance for it or other kids.”

Eventually, of course, things will return to a more regular nation. And there are so many intellects we can’t wait for that to happen. But for most mothers( grows pass ), babies’ birthday gatherings aren’t on our rosters of” Things We’re Excited To Get Back To Doing .” Not even a little bit.

The post From The Confessional: We Certainly, Certainly Don’t Miss Kids’ Birthday Parties saw first on Scary Mommy.