False Advertising
This is Skippy.
I assumed his name was Skippy, because when I called him that he did not argue.
Being a conponent, not a proponent, of False Advertising, I had a few questions for him about this whole "Dragonfly" thing. To break the ice, I decided to begin with an attempt at humor. A "Little Red Riding Hood" reference seemed appropriate at the time.
Me – "My goodness, Grandma! What big eyes you have!"
Skippy – No response
Sensing he was endowed with a profound sense of humorlessness, I decided to cut to the meat of the matter, as I often prefer to do.
Me – "Tell me something, Skippy. Why do you call yourself a ‘dragonfly’?"
Skippy – No response
Me – "Last time I checked, a dragon is defined as a mythical monster generally represented as a huge, winged reptile with crested head and enormous claws and teeth, and often spouting fire."
Skippy – No response
Me – "…and flying is defined as the act of moving through the air on wings."
Skippy – Still, no response
He may have been deaf, but his compound eyes would have enabled him to read lips quite easily. I attributed his unresponsiveness to being not only humorless, but aloof a well.
I continued…
Me – "So, Skippy, let’s review:"
1. "Since I am here speaking to you, I would not classify you as a ‘mythical monster’."
2. "While some might classify you as large, I would not consider you to be in the ‘huge’ category."
3. "While you do have wings, you do not appear to reptilian."
4. "I don’t see no crest, or huge claws."
5. "While there may actually be teeth in that unopenable mouth of yours, I don’t see ’em. Until I do, they don’t exist."
6. "Same with any fire spouting abilities – until I see it…’nuff said."
7. "You appear to be hanging, not flying".
"Did I miss anything?"
I awaited his reply.
Skippy – No response
I stood there, shaking my head.
Apparently, bored by our one-sided interaction, he flew away, off to who knows where.
Maybe he needed to go to the store.
I heard they were having a fire sale.
Posted by Beefus on 2011-03-26 19:30:57
Tagged: , dragonfly , insect , Anisoptera , marcus , Cherokee County , Iowa , family , alesch , reunion , false advertising
