Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Resistance FRIDAY!

Posted On Nov 12, 2019 By admin With Comments Off

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

Late Night Snark: Everything is Fine Edition

“President Trump had a meeting with Democrat at the White House. He lashed out at Nancy Pelosi. He announced her ‘a third-rate politician, ‘ he called them ‘communists, ‘ and he had what Nancy Pelosi described as’ a meltdown.’[ But] Trump didn’t have a meltdown. He had a Wednesday. There’s nothing left to melt.”

–Jimmy Kimmel

“Wait, what? Trump is saying that America shouldn’t help its Kurdish collaborators because they didn’t help America in World War II? I convey, to be fair , not helping in a fighting is one sphere President Bone Spurs has event with, but still…”

–Trevor Noah

“Rudi Giuliani is under federal investigation, necessitating happens have finally caught up with his face, which perpetually looks like someone who exactly found out he’s under investigation. But this should not be amazing. On the roster of things that Giuliani is likely to be under, ‘federal investigation’ might even narrowly beat out ‘his own cousin.'”

–John Oliver

“Bravo to the shed organization that saw these two. They look like they use vodka as cologne. These two have certainly worn move suits to their daughters’ wedding.” –Michael Che, SNL”

“I earned my stimulus on the battleground; Donald Trump gave his stimulants in a letter addressed from a doctor.”

–Former Protection Secretary Gen. James Mattis, at the Alfred E. Smith dinner last-place night

“[ At his political revival] Trump deterred doing that nasal sniffing thing he does. That one is not his fault–he suffers from treasonal allergies.”

–Bill Maher

And two years ago this month 😛 TAGEND

“Trump is basically like an aged Christmas sweater. He’s unraveling and you have to pretend you like him in front of your grandmother.”

–James Corden

That sweater is now down to a single weave. But, still, deity help you if you fail to wear it to Grandma’s.

Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the crease …[ Swoosh !!] RIGHTNOW![ Gong !!]

Cheers and Jeers for Friday, October 18, 2019

Note: The Department of Amendment called about you yesterday. Apparently you’ve been dangling modifiers again. Probably a good theme to lay low in the safe house for a while.

–

By the Numbers 😛 TAGEND

Idaho Gourd Festival logo generic 8 periods !!!

Days ’til election day in Canada: 3

Days ’til the Idaho Gourd Festival in Boise: 8P TAGEND

Percent of registered voters who feel Trump should be impeached and removed from office, according to a new Gallup poll: 52%

Current approval of Sen. Susan Collins( R-ME) among Mainers, according to a brand-new Public Programme Polling poll: 35%

Years since Washington D.C. went to the World Series: 86

Drop in international employments to attend U.S. business schools this year: 14%

Estimated percent of Maine’s population that is English, Irish, and French, respectively: 21%, 18%, 16%

–

Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend projects …

–

CHEERS to a pleasant stroll among the stars. A brand-new record moved into the record books this morning when Mainer Jessica Meir and Michigander Christina Koch travelled for a influence stroll for several hours outside the International Space Station–the firstly all-female team to accomplish the accomplishment:

Christina Koch( l) and Jessica Meir

Their operation was a complete success, by the way. They adjusted the rabbit ears without a hitch and now they’re coming huge receipt on the rec room Philco.

CHEERS to pissing off the deity crew. Everything about Trump’s decision to aid and abet ethnic cleansing in northern Syria is rooted in blatant, unmitigated evil. And the republican evangelicals who dot our fair district are now in a state of mass confusion over how their leader–chosen by God Himself, as they like to point out at every opportunity–could be acting so…so…Satan-like 😛 TAGEND

White missionary Christians have long been some of President Donald Trump’s most passionate boosters. But the president’s recent decision to effectively abandon Kurdish soldiers, considered key allies in the fight against the so-called Islamic State, appears to have caused a fracturing in this potent religious group. […]

It’s okay. He’ll really hold’ em one of these.

Some presidents have cracked grades to warn that Turkey’s invasion menaces susceptible communities of Christians and other religious minorities in states in the region. Professionals say these leaders’ support for the Kurds has a lot to do with how this religious group ends itself–as a persecuted minority standing up for American appreciates. Missionary reactions to the crisis are also indicative of this group’s deep-seated fears about Muslims.

So will they ultimately take the plunge and turn their back on the president? Course not, silly. He is also available the barbarian incarnate, but at least he’s still a racist.

JEERS to emoluments eschmoluments. Who attentions if it’s a massive conflict of interest? The role of President of the United Commonwealth( occupied by a guy reputation Trump) has decided it’s going to host next year’s G-7 summit at the Doral Resort in Florida( owned by a chap specified Trump ). Oh well, fellow Kossacks, it’s exclusively your taxation fund going into the pockets of Eric, Ivanka, Don Jr. and Cadet Bone Spurs:

The G-7 summit will select to his property thousands of foreign government officials from Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan and the United kingdom government, amongst other invited countries, as well as the international press. […]

Shack in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee USA Trump Doral Resort

House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler, D-N.Y ., announced Mulvaney’s announcement “among the most brazen precedents yet of the president’s corruption” and said his committee would continue to press for answers about the specific features of the selection process.

“This is unbelievable, ” CREW’s executive director, Noah Bookbinder, said in a statement. “The president is now officially exploiting the power of his office to help prop up his struggling golf business, ” Bookbinder added.

But not everyone’s upset. “We adoration international cuisine, ” indicated by the Doral bedbugs.

JEERS to the Big Dump. On tomorrow’s date in 1987 — on Saint Ronald Reagan’s watch–stocks lurched 508 parts amid frantic selling. They announced it “Black Monday.” The lowlights as they developed:

10: 30 AM With 140 million shares traded, the Dow is down 101 items, to 2145.

11: 45 AM A summary turnaround affords merchants a glint of hope as the Dow retrieves 95 stations in a half-hour.

1 PM As rumors spread about a NYSE shutdown, the Dow immerses 100 stations in the next hour.

October 19, 1987 Black Monday graph Wheeeeee…

2: 15 PM With the Dow down 300 spots, overseas investors outside the NYSE screams, “Down with Reagan! Down with MBAs! Down with yuppies! “

4 PM The NYSE closes. Chairman John Phelan says it was the closest thing to a “financial meltdown” that he had ever seen.

The percentage decline( 22.6%) was actually worse than the slam of 1929. Thank god we learned our instruction and, through sensible legislation, never had to experience anything like that again. Attaboy, Congress!

Vintage BBC radio broadcast “This just in to the BBC: Boris Johnson remains the biggest wanker in Britain.”

CHEERS to report from across The Pond.[ Beep Beep Beep Beep…Beeeep !] “We ended this broadcast to bring you a ruin news bulletin, old chap: today assessments the 97 th anniversary of the BBC, which is properly pronounced, of course, ‘Beh Beh Seh.’ Since our founding we’ve maintained a honour for being cool, pacify, neutral, and precise. So of course you Americans have no idea what to do of us.

Now stay aria for The Goon Show, followed by Educating Archie and assorted rambles from Her Majesty the Queen during her ceremonial Drinking of the Several Glasses of Sherry. This curriculum comes down to you from London.”[ Beepity Beeeeep !]

CHEERS to home botany. Super great news! Yesterday we went down to Woolworth and researched all our Tv tubings in the tube testing machine( by the lunch counter next to the blood pressure cuff machine ), and they’re all in immense figure for weekend Tv viewing. Red-hot damn!

Tyson: The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it. Minds is likely to be grazing in deGrasse tonight on HBO’s “Real Time.”

It starts the usual way, with Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow sifting through the Friday news dump. On HBO’s Real Time at 10, Bill Maher talks with Susan Rice, Neil deGrasse Tyson, AEI’s Danielle Pletka, writer Thomas Chatterton Williams, and good ol’ scruffy Sam Stein. Client on tonight’s The Graham Norton Show( 11 on BBC America) include Paul Rudd, Bruce Springsteen, and Robert DeNiro. New home video liberates include the further adventures of Buzz and Woody in Toy Story 4 and the reboot of Child’s Play with Mark Hamill as the enunciate of Chucky. The Astros are playing the F* cking Yankees right now in game 5 of the AL championship, which Houston passes 3 tournaments to 1.( The Boston Red Sox, of course, remain the current World Series advocates .) The NFL planned is here, and the NHL planned is here.( The Boston Bruins will smooth up the Maple Leafs and toss’ em in a chocolate-brown newspaper recycle suitcase that’ll be located by the curb and picked up by the sanitation department on Monday Ha Ha Ha !!!) On 60 Minutes, survivors of the Tree of Life Synagogue terrorist attack speak out. Sunday night at 8 it’s Treehouse of Horror XXX on The Simpsons, and Disney requisitions a terminated reboot of Family Guy on, um, Family Guy.

Now here’s your Sunday morning lineup 😛 TAGEND

Meet the Press: TBA

AM Joy host Joy Reid Catch the latest on Syria, impeachment, and Trump’s Doral Bedbug Summit, plus salutes to Elijah Cummings, tomorrow and Sunday morning at 10.

This Week: TBA

Face the Nation: Reps. Jim Himes( D-CT) and Will Hurd( R-TX ); Gen.( Ret) Raymond Thomas, Commander of U.S. Special Business Command; former CIA deputy director Michael Morell; former Deputy Secretary of State Bill Burns.

CNN’s State of the Union: Mayor Pete Buttigieg; Senator Amy Klobuchar; Reps. Joe Neguse( D-CO) and Sean Duffy( R-WI ).

Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Mayor Pete !!! Plus: world’s worst solicitor( and with Rudy Giuliani skulking around that’s sayin’ something) Mick Mulvaney, who stimulated Trump’s impeachment situation “much, much worse” yesterday, cries to God that Chris Wallace doesn’t ask him any tough questions.( Spoiler alert: God’s not listening .)

Happy viewing!

–

Ten years ago in C& J: October 18, 2009

JEERS to early departures. Yeesh–what a big ball ‘o confusion this week when a silver-tongued unidentified flying object thingee taken away from( no one really known to be it get loose) from a squall chaser/ extraterrestrial seeker’s home in Colorado and ascended to 15,000 feet and achieved fasts of 30 miles per hour–and everyone recollected the guy’s 6-year-old son was occupying the basket inside it. It compiled the bulletin and everything…

False fear.

The kid was actually playing in his attic. So everyone lived happily ever after. But I have something I wanna supposed to say to that home right here and now–publicly–and I miss a straight reaction with no bullshit: Where can I get me one ‘o them cool flying saucer?( Get on it, Hammacher Schlemmer .)[ 10/18/ 19 Update: Turns out dear old Dad made the whole thing up and intention up spend 90 eras in prisons for the hoax. I did, in fact, get my own form of the saucer, but loaned it to an extra-terrestrial so it could get back home. Turns out it fixed the whole thing up and just wanted it to fly down to cruise chicks in South Beach. What happened next will shock you. But that’s a story for another time .]

–

And just one more…

CHEERS to previews of coming previews. Unless you’ve either been stranded on a desert planet or “youve got something” announced “a life, ” you know that the first official trailer for Star Crusade Episode IX: Lando’s Prostate Strikes Back ceases on Monday. It’s going to be huge–so massive that my blood pressure is already spiking to 568 over 21 or something. I assume you’re likewise ruminating through the drywall waiting for it to come out, so to calm ourselves down, here’s Kylo Ren, courtesy of the genius Auralnauts, with his official reaction to the preview of the trailer( aka the trailer trailer) that sagged awhile back. Caution: this is entirely safe for study 😛 TAGEND

x YouTube Video

–

Episode IX opens in 62 days. I’m told that the running time is 155 minutes. May the bladder power be with you.

Have a great weekend. Floor’s open…What are you cheering and sneering about today?

–