Why am I so rattling fragile? (HELP)

Posted On Feb 14, 2020 By admin With Comments Off

I am a 19 year old-fashioned male, newcomer in college at a university. I don’t exactly come from a good lineage, but my mothers aren’t the best with money. Nevertheless, I’ve never done without something I’ve needed. So I am lucky I’m that sense.

I’m currently within the first two weeks of my second semester at college. So far my entire meter now has been a fucking mental clash. I have one good friend whom I adoration, and a duet relationships. I do enjoy college sometimes, but the average day consists of forcing myself to get out of bed around 9-10 am, was just going to lecturings, getting chocolate around 12, and everything is fine.

But by 3-4 pm every day I slip into this kind of sad, depleted, depressing and uneasy country where all I do is overthink and reminisce in the past.

Now get ready, because I’m about to tell an arguably embarrassing tale, but it is the truth.

I have extrapolated suspicion, major dip, and ADHD. Sometimes I feel like the only time I experience is either when I’m comfortably hummed from alcohol or weed, off Ritalin, or the 30 hours of caffeine high after some good chocolate with my friend.

I may be only 19, but I attest I peaked in high school. This is fucking dumber considered in when you takes into consideration I was homeschooled and an introvert.

However, my times from 12 -1 8 existed primarily of swimming for my sorority crew. As my profession progressed I become popular and affection by everyone because I was good inspecting, ripped, funny, hard working and honorable, and reasonably good at the sport. The girls all loved me, the younger kids looked up to me, my instruct announced me his self-proclaimed “best friend, ” and the chaps my age and I are still one tighten great friend group. Like brothers.

Now even though I suffered moderate hollow and suspicion during my high school years, I gotta say they seem like they were, and probably will be, the best years of my life.

But now I am in college. I can’t tell the whole story but not only do I miss “schools “, swimming, dwelling, my friends and family, and the massively lower pressures of high school, but I also miss two things that really make me feel like a dumbass.

I miss the social hierarchy of high school. Yes. I miss it. I miss being at the top of it. I miss girls who actually positioned campaign into their grooming and physical chassis. I miss the leverage I went for good gradations and being an athlete. I miss ligament with friends over the overly emphasized tournament of athletics.

There is a girl. She’s a fucking junior right now. I had a humiliate on her for years but she and I never dated because we were both reticent and foolish. I miss the shit out of her. We tried dating time of my major time however both recognise it wouldn’t work because I was going to college. But I’m not over her and this is causing me appalling nature transgres since we are both like one another but the different stages of life we’re in make it hopeless.

So here I am. My happiness is fragile as all blaze, my anticipations for life are unrealistic if I even know what they are anymore. I’m ever fucking spent. I can’t sleep at night … probably because my ADHD/ suspicion compounding draws me live in a constant position of overthinking. I can’t ever be happy bc all I do is reminisce in nostalgia and miss my friends and family back home and my old-fashioned life and think about this fucking girl.

I guess I affair ok because my points aren’t painful and I’m administering to draw off moderately good rendition in my golf-club swimming, even without a coach-and-four.

But by around 3 pm daily I feel like this and it doesn’t end until I manage to fall asleep by 2-4 am.

I feel fucking miserable.

TL 😀 R: I’m depressed, agitated, have bad ADHD, am extremely mawkish, heartbroken, and basically feel deplorable and hopeless for arguably no good reason.

Is this normal? Is there help for me?

I’m on symbalta but it doesn’t seems to work. If anything, my first semester on it I went through an existential crisis and entertained suicide for the first time in my life.

Please assistant me.

to be presented by / u/ SgtALeppo [ relate ] [ observes ]